well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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