i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
where am i from again
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
