And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
