Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
