3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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