Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
