I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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