i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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