You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?