break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life