Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.