I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
