my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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