The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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