Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize