I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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