wrigley field is MILF paradise
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize