I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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