He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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