So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
