After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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