brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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