my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My feet surprised me
Randomize