He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
