Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my being single is dangerous.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
