I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
