And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
