and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
