I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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