stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
