Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
