There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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