Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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