is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
