You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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