Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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