I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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