My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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