she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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