i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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