i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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