i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
