Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think i have two assholes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
