a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
