He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
