i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize