i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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