Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
