The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
