I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
