we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
