Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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