i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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