Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I AM VODKA MAN
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
