That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
