I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
