Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
