I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
