I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
