Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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