No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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