i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
