I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
