I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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