Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
