U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
