Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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