How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
