Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
