Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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